The Girl With A Brown Bag

When I was in primary school, one of my teachers seemed to enjoy every time one of us farted. He actually used to congratulate us and each time say, ‘Good, your body works.’ Normally we would react with ‘Eew!’ or those childish giggles kids that age always have to spare. A few years back, someone I know refused to fart because he was in public. Needless to say he got sick. When he went to the doctor, he was given a small pill that made him fart. This was not the shy release; it was a huge one. You know how in cartoons you’d know someone farted because the gas was always green? Well, he was visibly lighter. Like his skin changed in front of my eyes.

Flash forward and I am an adult-ish now. At home or when I am with people who know me really well is when I feel comfy letting the gas slide – I mean who doesn’t,right? Until the other day when I had like really spicy food which grew to my own fart baby and my jeans button popped. I couldn’t let my little butterfly free because I was in a gathering. Then I remembered my primary school teacher and the visible changes farting had on that person I told you about and I was like f*&k it! I am not getting sick because I have this lady like image I am trying to re-construct(long story). I excused myself, faked a phone call and walked a deserted corner. I just regret that someone came to re-fill my cup before diffusion had happened 100%.

Anyway, where am I going with this? As per the title of this post, I have come to realize and appreciate that my body works. These bodies we were given are the perfect example of how garbage in will always release garbage. The stomach is messy but that’s how it should be. This , message is to tell you embrace the mess.

You miss your period by 4 days and panic sets in. You used protection, right? Then out of nowhere, while you are busy balancing those financial statements(there’s something like that,I hope) you feel wet. You quickly rush to the loo and there it is. Part of you is sad that your Victoria Secret lingerie is ruined but how glad are you that you are safe for another month? With a smile you embrace the disgusting red mess.

So you remember the lady image under re-construction? I might have had a few set backs. I have never been that girl. You know, the girl who wakes up and has two hours just for make-up before leaving the house? First, those two hours would make a great nap and secondly never had a reason(or motivation). I made it a point to at least try. Not with the two hours thing but at least shape my eyebrows- baby steps. So, I happen to be those girls with good hair. What people never say is good hair on your head means good hair everywhere. The rate of growth is the same. While we choose to keep some hair long, others we are embarrassed by. I watched an episode of Bob’s Burgers once where Linda had an infection and was told not to shave her pits. While Linda basically walked with her hands up all day, no one has to see my hair. I have actually come a long way to get to the place where I am very comfortable with every nasty thing my body does. My mustache doesn’t scare me anymore so why would my pits. Here’s a pro tip – wear clothes with sleeves. No one will see your mess and you’ll keep your arms warm.

Everything your body does is for a reason. Your butt is meant to sweat on a hot day. Your hair is supposed to grow there. If you gain weight, stretchmarks are not a new thing. If your body works, embrace everything about it. Of course there is some common etiquette around people but don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s nothing a nice shower/ bath, deodorant and healthy diet can’t fix. Love everything about it and if some of the mess doesn’t work, consult someone(preferably a doctor).