The Girl With A Brown Bag

It’s my brother’s birthday today, one of them. He is turning 29 years, I think. As our eldest brother, he was made the assistant parent by default. So today to celebrate him, I have listed some of his valuable lessons to me to continue my ‘Lessons From…’ series.

CARS, FOOTBALL & EVERYTHING MAN

As we were talking one day, my brother noticed that the only car I knew was Toyota. I had no idea what difference there was between a make and a model of a machine. Same goes for football. All I knew was red was a favorite color and the men who played the game had asses to die for. He scolded me. I was like, ‘What did I do now? No one expects me to know these things, I’m a girl’. He told me to never utter such ignorant words again for anyone to hear. He switched the TV channel to Discovery World which was airing an episode of Chasing classic cars. Needless to tell you, I was schooled. He told my ignorance in some issues meant his failure as a brother. If I wanted to know anything about cars, and bikes and football and all those things men seem to fancy I should ask him. Now I can hold a conversation with confidence about why I think Arsene Wenger is such a miser (he never spends money, Christ!!!) or why a Toyota is a practical car for a farmer. I still love the butts on Isco and Van Persie but I now know how much exercise they do for them.

NEVER FIGHT LIKE A ‘GIRL’

Another lesson my brother taught me was fighting. Again he told me it was such a shame to have elder brothers and not know how to throw a harmful punch. This lesson came when one day a boy in my class promised to beat me up. He rallied most of his friends to come watch. While the fight did not happen, I went home terrified. I told my brothers what had happened and he was like, ‘I’ll teach you. Next time he comes for you you’ll protect yourself’. I learned how to make a tight fist, where to aim it and how to cause most damage. He told me if I can’t use my hands, find anything that could make a weapon and use it. Most important lesson though; your attacker will never fight fair because you are a girl, when you fight(whoever it is) you fight to win and if you can’t win leave a mark they’ll never forget.

NEVER FORGIVE A MAN WHO HITS YOU

When he was teaching me how to fight, my brother told me never to take violence lightly. Anyone capable of threatening me, especially a guy, would most definitely make a habit of it if I say nothing. He told me that once a guy finds the brain/energy to lift a finger at you, next time I’ll get more than a finger. True to his word my brother has never hit me. He has come close (because I am a qualified pain in his ass) but he has never laid a hand on me. One day he actually told me that if I ever got married and my husband threatened me in any way, I should get out that instant and call him. No matter where he is or what time it was he’d come get me and give the so called husband something to hit. He’s always says that if a guy did it once (hitting, cheating or any other form of abuse) he’ll definitely do it again.

FAMILY IS ALL THAT MATTERS

It is no secret that I’ve had issues with self-love in the past. I used to ask, ’What will people say?’ every time before I made a decision. I let go of very many opportunities because I was afraid that someone would make fun of me. In short I used to think a lot about others and not enough about me. When I was called by a friend of mine to do her a favor on TV I almost gave up the opportunity. My brother asked why I didn’t want to do it and when I told him I was afraid he said,’ F@#k people! As long as mum and dad have no issue with it just do it. We are all that matters, you do right by your family you’ve done right period!’ What more could I say? My biggest cheerleader had given me the green light and that is all I needed. My brother always reminds me that as my family they’ve got my back and among the 6 of them I have the world.

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF INTELLIGENCE

My brother taught me that my brain is and should be the sexiest part of my body. He taught me that with my brain I can influence opinions and change people’s minds something that is sometimes very difficult for some people. He told me that the good grades in school should never be taken for granted because they showed that my brain was powerful. He taught me how to feed my brain. Reading anything I laid my eyes on something my father taught him. He’s always told me not to argue just for the sake of it (it is always fun to argue though) but have something to contribute to the topic of discussion. He also taught me how to smoothly steer people away from topics I didn’t want to discuss and switch the conversation to what I wanted.

Happy birthday Deck Pocke!!