TO PLAY OR NOT
Last Friday someone asked me if I was a player. I am not a player. Honestly, I think playing requires a lot of energy and I don’t think I have enough of that as is. Maintaining one man is not an easy task how would I do if I had several? Men always say that women are work but trust me, there is nothing that will give you work like trying to handle multiple men.
You have to think of their insecurities (and they are a lot!!), jealousy, short fuses that most of them have, among other things like promising one thing and delivering another. You have to constantly massage those egos of theirs and give them reassurance in everything. Like babies, you have to tell them that they are doing good, how you like it done, where to put stuff and to aim right in that toilet bowl.
Anyway, after I answered the question I got to thinking. What is a player? Not the musical or sports kind but in relationships? This is a person who wants it all. They want what they shouldn’t covet. Someone told me that people think men re the best players but he thinks women are better players because they know how to score different goals without getting caught. I agree. I think that this world’s nature has forced women to become masters. They want to play the field with the same speed and magnitude as the men. You always hear how women are supposed to be okay with sharing a man because apparently the ratio of men to women is 1:11 (that can’t be right) but you’ll never hear the men agree that men should be grateful that they have a wife at the end of the day.
It is a fact that women can play. They just don’t brag about it like men do. I have seen players in action and even the men thought they were the only ones. I love analogies. To give a better understanding of women players, below are four types of men we like. You can add the one you think applies. Today, I have compared men to sanitary products. From my observation, each man has a purpose and no two men serve the same purpose. The sex they all get is a consolation price to keep them in check.
THE TISSUE PAPER
This is the guy who is very easily replaceable. This is the one person you give most crap to (pun very intended) but you see no future together. Just like a roll of tissue, his lifespan is short. He most probably begged you to give him a chance and because you were bored you say yes. There are better products out there but the tissue is nice and cheap to maintain. A text message every now and then will reassure him. The stories you talk about are not deep. He mostly knows just the surface of what you are really about.
THE COTTON WOOL
He is a bit more expensive than the tissue paper. With this one you have to put in more work. More dates, more calls than texts, more smiles than frowns. He is the guy you introduce to your friends because he is not too shabby (tissue) or too flashy (the pad) to avoid being labelled. He takes you out for dates and pays for your Uber. He knows how many siblings you have but will probably never meet them. You play the damsel in distress but limit the size of trouble you are in. He’ll give you airtime and two shillings pocket money but you don’t mind. You have more things to talk about and he is mostly almost your age. This is the person with the greatest sex of the four and it works in his favor. He lasts longer than the tissue paper but you can always find better sex, right?
THE SANITARY PAD
Like a pad, this is the one you give specific information to. Things that the cotton wool and tissue can’t handle you take to the pad. Just like the pad is not used every day, this is the guy you call when you need bigger things. This is your shopping, vacations, grooming and driving kind of guy. When you are really broke or you need more than usual he is the guy on speed dial. He is your safety net for those heavy days. You are always the damsel in distress he needs to rescue most of the times from a 6 foot hole. You may not talk every day but you know you can rely on him when it rains. All he asks for is two or three exclusive days and you can definitely afford those. You may have nothing in common to talk about since he is probably way older but you are not there for the sweet nothings.
THE HANDKERCHIEF
Find yourself a handkerchief. He lasts longest of the four because he has a higher tolerance for crap. He is the one you call when your pet dies, when you win an award on the runway, when you are really proud of yourself for finally cracking the ugali-making formula or when you broke your nail.
He is the person you have a real connection with and that’s why you stay. Just like you use the handkerchief then wash and iron it, you always come back to this one. He is a good boy. He treats you right but is probably not as rich as your other men. He will give you all the emotional support you need and even push you out of your comfort zone but his sex is probably average. He is the one you want to talk to about the deepest stuff you don’t normally tell. However, just like handkerchiefs get lost, this is the guy who will slip through your fingers when he finally knows his worth or when he gets tired. He will be like that embroidered handkerchief your mother gave you in class three that you have no idea how you lost it and you still miss.
Lesson: Get yourself a hankie. Know it’s fabric and learn what you need to do to take care of it. It lasts longest compared to the others.
Joaquim
December 5, 2017 at 1:01 pmI want. No. I need to know the writer.
admin
December 6, 2017 at 2:24 pmYou can always reach her at kkinoti8@gmail.com